apathy

lately, i have been overcome by apathy..is it because my girlfriend is out of town ? i think its a symptom of a deeper problem. but neuroscientists disagree..they say the brain sends out chemicals that make us feel blue when the partner is missing..apparently i have a very high oxytocin level..sigh..if the mysteries of love are too feeble a challenge for science..i say science be damned..like the people of erewhon, (samuel butlers classic utopia) let us cast away science and religion, kill the sick and treat the immoral..and worship ourselves..

but getting back to the subject..i have no reason to be unhappy..but this great boredom creeps in..i can spend whole days doing nothing, blankly, staring at the ceiling fan rotate pointlessly. its only work that forces me out of bed..

people are over rated. the lone elephant thing works well for me..rummaging through imaginary forests, searching for some forsaken durians, its appealing a life as any other. its a sickening feeling, to wake up in the morning and not know what you want to do today...all options seems equally unimportant..

a friend asked me..what do you really like doing ? and i didnt have an answer..except maybe writing..which explains this..

btw..i really dont know how to get the comments going..would somebody please tell me..?