The life and times of Tragicomix.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Sex and the Indian Psyche : The history project.

I have often wondered about the great Indian social taboo. No one ever talks much about sex. It just isnt a done thing. Girls dont discuss sex with their girlfriends, guys (at least the guys i hang out with..maybe they are all virgins) dont like talking about sex..and if a girl loses her virginity..its a huge deal. I dont know if Indians are

I dont know if I am only talking about my point of view based on my limited interactions, but the Indians I have interacted with have all been loathe to talk about sex.

there is this whole puritanical streak that doesnt allow us to talk about sex. Screw the kamasutra, its only popular in the west. Like yoga and mysticism, saints and such. In everyday society, we seldom see instance in the public domain, be it tv shows, media columns, where wives discuss sex with husbands..People hardly sleep around !

A comedian once joked, that when Indians do foreplay, they go straight for the tits and bite them. Thats about how horny we all are. The movies that show "bold" kissing scenes today, have heroines whose careers are more or less defined uni dimensionally as sex dolls. I believe its more an outcome of Indias skewed male demographics and male dominant culture that resulted in a spate of these new sex based movies.

What i hate the most is the absolute taboo associated with it. Even in Singapore, this group of Indians politely believe that all the boyfriends and girlfriends do is occasionally make out in the privacy of bedrooms.

Women in India are strongly labelled by the madonna whore complex..I wish we could be more understanding..it is sad socially, that we do not have free sex in our society. We proudly believe in the Asian Family way..but if the foundation of that family is compromise..we are doomed to a fatalistic society..I believe free sex is a vehicle towards liberalism, and that open minds lead to intellectual progress..

Many friends of mine say, look at these westerners, they all get divorced so often..I cant help but feel , divorce may be a good thing at times..marriage neednt be the be all and end all of a society..a marriage has to provide personal fulfilment, and if divorce can provide that on a different plane..and being single satisfies other needs..so be it ! why do have to do things a particular way simply because generations did it that way ?

I wish people were open about sex..sexual liberation frees the mind. Sex is a joyous act of love, why is everyone in India so ashamed of it ? ? What is fundamentally wrong with a one night stand ? What does the pride of virginity carry for a woman today ? Shouldnt other things matter more than who fucked her ? Isnt pride in virginity an arcane objectification of women ?

I, with my cable tv puberty , feel this way. I wonder how many other Indians feel the same way.

I wonder how many Indians remain virgins till they are married. I exhort all of you to comment, with your views. Whether you disagree or agree, I wish people would talk more about sex. Forget the fact that we have the worlds second largest AIDS population. Thats only one of the many symptoms of the sexual taboo that grips our society. I am more concerned about the deeper more fundamental impact on the nature of Indian Society. Indians live in extremes, they either have very closed minds, or are super liberal about life. I urge anyone who reads this to promptly put up a comment, stating whether they lost their virginity, how many times they did..and state their sexual history. I hope the anonymity proves encouraging.

Please comment with details of your sexual history, and your views on it..Agree or vehemently disagree with me, but please , talk about it.

Thanks,

tragicomix















31 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there. Came to your site from your post on my talking board. I read your views; they seem pretty radical. Perhaps that's why not too many (& thats an understatement!) want to leave behind their comments. IMHO, its not that we are sexually repressed or not but how intimate and personal sex is to many of us. For a fact, sex is a taboo topic even with our parents; how then can can you expect a discussion with perfect strangers without destroying the intimacy that we share with our partners/spouses etc? Trust you see my point of view. :) Cheeeers, Ravi

12:01 AM

 
Blogger Naveen said...

I am a virgin. I think I intend to continue that way till I marry, if I marry. Since I don't plan to marry, I am a free man!

I don't think sexual liberation frees the mind.

Would you be happey to learn that your partner is sleeping around with somebody else? While she might be justified, "it was just once, we had some wine ... and it just happened". She probably succumbed to one of those moments, the same kind of moment which made you write this post.

Sexual relations with your spouse is one of the major factors that binds. And trust somehow increases the intensity. That's human nature.

One could give in to every such moment, but then you will have to come to terms with the other. To this end I believe it's indeed a mark of social progress to have invisible threads that desist people from having casual sex. It's not imposed you see...on Indians of this generation.

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Blogger Naveen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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Blogger Ubermensch said...

enjoyed it!!!!
largely i can relate to most of ur philosophy.people especially the current race cannot speak of anything unless you add a intellectual spin to it.so if u blatantly strike them to talk liberally about sex ,it is no surprise they would choose not to and they then plainly place the excuse on the greaty glory of indian culture.please do not be mistaken i am not against indian values but i think its exploited to hide our own fallacies.as you pointed out its time we recheck those premises.
as for me ,sometimes i am a virgin:)) belive me i wud had a long chat with you if i did not had this handle,many on the ether recognise the handle.
if i had commented anonymously it would have been anyone , not me.

6:03 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we all do it. we just dont talk about it. not saying thats a good thing.

5:20 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most Indians who are doing it don't talk about it and those that are not doing it, have no clue what they are talking about.

Agree with your comments about Indians making sex a much bigger deal than it actually is - resulting in unhealthy consequences.

5:29 PM

 
Blogger Vijayalaxmi said...

I agree. Taboo on sex must go, in toto. Methinks, it will go.

You are right on most counts, but I dont have a problem with folks wanting to keep their sex lives private. It's their life, after all.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

radical...
i disagree wid ur views of sexual freedom (free-sex, homosexuality,one-night-stands) as being justified.
one important point here is.. every1 is mature enuf to decide on wat way they'd live their lyf. n its totally upto the person. same wid the issue of sex.
ur point tht sex needs to b discussed wud find my support.
But,as Naveen pointed out,sexual relationship binds one man n one woman more deeply in love.
But of course there are people like u .. who r only able 2 see the physical gratification bhind it.. n not the emotional/spiritual/psychological gratification, UNFORTUNATELY. (evn tho u say things lyk 'sex is beautiful'.).
I feel u wud find it truly beauttiful whn u share it wid sum1 u love.

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