the freaking pain

seriously, in this little isolated community of foreigners in a strange land, young college ppl, there has been a lot of pain. People have fallen in love and been crushed. ppl have been excluded from groups, people have hated each other snubbed each other. and as i look back at it, i feel, fucking shit..why couldnt we all jes get along?

expectations, feelings, everything mished mashed in this little society.

i hope im better equipped to handle it next time..at least ive come out of this with a few good friends..i guess thats what matters in the end..a few good friends..

why singapore depresses me

this place, depresses me endlessly. I am easily depressible, but this town just takes me to new lows. This place has no spirit. You can live without freedom, you can live without riches, you can live without justice. But this place has no humanity left. Its been sucked out of it. Even in the poorest slums of Bombay, people have a will to live, and a yearning to survive. They have a glorious view of a future, and dreams of success. They produce gangsters, gangster movies, and skimpily clad heroines who dance around trees. In Rio De Janeiro, people lead socialist movements, party, even in the city of God, people have ambitions born of hope. In New York, people dream the wall street dream, people all over have aspirations and emotions. In Singapore, life is driven by fear and negativity. People want to be rich, not to enjoy being rich, but from fear of being poor. People in Singapore fear everything. The law, authority, success, lack of success, everything is driven by negativity. People dont look up to the sky and say, well, this is a lovely morning. People wake up early and work hard, because they think, well, we had better work hard, or else we will not survive. The battle for survival has been degraded to its basest level here. Community initiatives , Society as a whole, has this strong chinese undercurrent of " face". the facade of being happy for the sake of other people. I have heard tokyo is very similar in the sense of general angst that pervades society. You can see the depression in Manga, in Anime. But in Singapore, the people are all hollow, they really have nothing much to say. Everyone lives in little lego houses, as if they are pretending to live. Even the politicians pretend to be proud of it. Singapore is not a nation. It is just a very large group of people who have no where else to go.

making a difference

in india, during the emergency, the indian express once came out with an empty newspaper..all blank, except for the title.

that gives me great hope. it means that by doing nothing, the editor engaged in the ultimate act of defiance.

makes me feel something will happen hee too..
Anand

disorganization is chaos theory

i really should organize this thing..political stuff, lit stuff, be more a vertical blog..
but heck..who am i kidding..ill never get around to doing that..
at least i got the comments thing going.

but i guess disorganization is ok..coz genius and madness both stem from mayhem.
or at least, its a good enough excuse.

Why am I here?

I wonder what kind of meritocracy this is. white horses. Old man's sons becoming BGs and head of Singtel. oh yeah, daughter in law leads temasek investment too. This nepotism disgusts me.

Why am I here ? Oh yeah, now I remember,ive sold my soul for money.

autopsies are us

if you ever want die in mysterious circumstances, and feel something poking around you, this is what is happening. via cup of chicha

marrying the best friends wife

read this interesting article about marrying a best friends wife.

people are crazy, times are strange,
i used to care, but things have changed

Mixed feelings

In Nanyang U 4 years I have spent,
the time i borrowed, is time someone lent,

some view it with regret, and some with disdain,
Elation, Understatement, Anxiety and Pain,
Some are frustrated, some hopeful and some self pity.
Some disenchantment, indifference, sentimentality.

In truth, my answer would be all of the above,
i have changed irrevocably here, dont know how,

no point being optimistic,any thing i say is rhetoric,
but say something, or be branded a cynic,

ntu had labels many, typecasts i will be glad to break,
small society of strangers, each one our opinions make.

the future beckons, seductress, tempts me across the chasm,
here i go, in search of that great big orgasm.